Freedom

Ask anyone what is great about the USA and the answer will likely be freedom. Most every American appreciates our free and open society.

I am a proud graduate of Brigham Young University. My school has been much in the news last week for the suspension of a basketball player who violated the university’s Honor Code. Many have questioned the restrictive nature of the Honor Code at BYU. I have been told a number of times that the standards of the university and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, of which I am a member, are repressive. I have been taunted, teased and taken to task over my adherence to these standards. Why would I, who enjoy a good time, continue to live this restrictive life style when I could choose differently? Why would any athlete in his or her right mind submit to the BYU Honor Code when they could go almost anywhere else in the country and be “free?”

My years at BYU were the most fun, liberating and free years of my life., except for all of the years that came after. Before coming to BYU, I had tried it the other way. There was no comparison. As a fellow student once said, “BYU is the biggest party school in the country. The parties are just a little different.”

When I attended my 20^th high school reunion in 1982, I noticed a number of my high school friends, brilliant and talented individuals, who had attended the University of California at Berkley. Not to impugn that wonderful institution of learning, but it seemed that most of these best and brightest who attended at Berkley had become part of the drug culture of the 1960’s. At the reunion, I’d ask what happened to certain old friends. The response time and time again was “Oh, he (or she) went to Berkley did drugs and is burned out.” These quick, bright young people had become adults, just entering middle age, and could not put and sentence together or walk straight. They had not been “repressed” by an Honor Code. They were free.

In 1963, my mother left my father and family to go to New York City so she could be free. Dad wasn’t always the easiest guy and Mom wanted out. She wanted, at age 42, to do whatever she wanted. She lived with a man who took Mom in because he was tired of his wife. He soon tired of Mom. After a few years, Mom came back to our hometown and lived in poverty the rest of her life. There were other men along the way, none of whom were faithful to her. They all had their freedom. Mom’s “freedom” not only ruined her life, but devastated her ex-husband and children. Dad went on to live in nice homes and travel the world. Mom could have been a part of that, but she was free.

Years ago, I watched a sit-com. Two men were talking. One was complaining to the other about how bad his marriage was. The second man said to the first, “You look at your marriage as prison. I look at mine as Disneyland.” Disneyland has boundaries and rules. Break those rules and boundaries and Disneyland is no longer Disneyland. Of course it takes two people to build a marriage. If one isn’t willing to establish Disneyland in a marriage, it is hard for one person to do it alone. But two, working together can build Disneyland, though, like the real Disneyland,  it isn’t easy to build or maintain.

I believe in boundaries. I believe in rules. Everything good in life, marriage, family, a college education, business and government is, or should be, ruled by boundaries. The stronger the boundaries, especially if they are self-imposed, the better the endeavor. A basketball player at BYU has learned that in the last week. Is he condemned? No. Is he forgiven? Of course, as he steps back in the bounds he’s agreed to. Is he a bad person? No, he just made a mistake. Will he be a better person for what he has experienced?  Certainly, as long as he learns what his limits are and I am confident he will. Those who have walked the same path attest to it.

Freedom? The corollary of freedom is that it comes with responsibility and consequences. We forget that. There is a negative consequence to everything restricted in the BYU Honor Code, but there are wonderful, immeasurable consequences living it.

What are the consequences of obeying the BYU Honor Code? No deaths from drunk driving (imagine eliminating the resulting 20,000+ deaths a year from DUIs). No addictions-even to caffeine. No physical or sexual abuse. Lower retail prices (20% lower because of the elimination of the costs of shoplifting). No venereal disease including AIDS. No guilt the next morning. A great reduction in cancer deaths and the accompanying medical costs. Living in an atmosphere of trust. No Wall Street or bank fraud. But who’d want to give away their freedoms for a repressive society like that?

Obviously the Honor Code is not lived perfectly at BYU. I didn’t live it perfectly when I was there, but I’m a better and happier person because I tried. If the mint brownies they sell on campus had been against the Honor Code, I'd be even better... or at least skinnier!