Blessings of a Wheelchair (see picture below)

The first wheelchairs we invented by the Chinese in the 6th century. The modern wheelchair was produced in 1933. Brenda became wheelchair bound as a result of complications from spinal fusion surgery last summer. She has two physical problems with it. First, upon sitting very long, her bottom becomes very sore. If she had a bottom like mine, this would not be a problem, but in spite of the claims of modern medicine, being thin is not always an advantage. Her hands, which get sore from propelling herself around, are the second problem.

With pain and the resulting tears, there couldn't be any advantages to being in a wheel chair, right?

Strangely, I think Brenda and I are happier now than ever before in our marriage. Brenda now realizes that I care about her enough to take over a number of things she can no longer do. I do dishes, wash clothes, clean floors (no too often) and grocery shop. Often I cook dinner. Not only do I do these things, but they give me joy. Granted, we are retired and I have the time to do them, but Brenda has served our family beautifully for forty years, now it is my turn to show her my appreciation for all she's done.

From my point of view, we have more time to talk and just settle in with each other. Our conversations have more depth and our joys are more meaningful. We do not look at this episode in our live as a tragedy, but something to learn from and adjust to. Life has slowed down for us and that has been good.

In the first weekend of last September, I thought Brenda would die. I was told by hospital staff that her condition could go either way. I was devastated. I tried to prepare family, friends and our ward for her passing. As Brenda recovered, I was impressed with a new depth of my love for her. The process was a spiritual experience, a revelation of sorts that opened my heart to what was already in our relationship, but in the day to day humdrum of a marriage is buried.

Yes, I get tired of loading the wheelchair in and out of the car. I get exhausted with pushing it sometimes. But I'm grateful for that wheelchair, or rather my sweetheart who is in it. The wheelchair is a small price to pay for having more life with her. Besides, thanks to the Chinese, it's easier than carrying her on my back. She'd be worth it though.