What's in a Name?

One of the things I hate most in this world is name calling. It is a propaganda technique that doesn't define anything. All it indicates is a dim witted (aaaauuuugggghhhh! I did it!) individual trying to demean someone with whom they disagree or dislike. Any way you look at it, it's dissen'.

Name calling is most often used on playground and class rooms across the country. Bill Cosby satirized it when during a routine he said, "You... you... you... gunky!" I like that because "gunky" is meaningless like most name calling.

I think we can credit George W. Bush as labeling his opponents as being from the "Democrat" party. While his grammar for once may have been correct, it would have been more appropriate to refer to those folks as the "Democratic Party."

When I taught school, it was always a challenge to to learn students' names. If a student was named George, I called him George. Sometimes George would protest and say, "Call me Georgie." At first I resist this, but I came to the point of belief that a student could be called whatever he or she wanted, within reason. Once a student was named Jaime. The class went into an uproar. All Jaime's friends shouted, "No, we call him Loco". Jaime beamed and Loco it was. There was a slight problem when Loco's Mom came in for parent teacher conference and I had to remember to call Loco "Jaime." I hesitated to call him Loco because I thought it was demeaning, but he was a great student.

One young man was dubbed "Molester," by girls in the class. They complained frequently about his roving hands . I tried to catch him, but never could. One day he made me mad and I blurted out, "Listen, Molester..." Before I left that day, Molester's dad was in the principal's office which a hangman's noose, bailing wire and several machetes. I was so shocked by being called in that I couldn't say a thing to the dad. I just told him I would not use that name again in reference to his son or anyone else. The next day, however, having recovered my wits, I came up behind "Molester" and said, "If I have one more complaint from a young woman in this class, I will call your dad and he will know why you have the Molester nick-name. Problem solved.

Of course there are endearing names. The boss of an organization is often called "the old man." That comes from the military and is usually a compliment. Women who lead usually have different, less complimentary names.

My grandson, Jackson, about ten years ago, adapted the name "Bapa" for me. Of all the names I have been called, and there have been quite a few, Bapa is the most endearing and pleasing to me. It is the ultimate compliment! Thanks Jackson.

Casablanca

"Casablanca" was released in 1942 and starred Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman, as well as a host of other great character actors. Some have called it the most perfect movie ever made. I would call it the most romantic.

"Casablanca" played a major role in my greatest romance. Just after Christmas in 1969, I arranged to meet my girlfriend, Brenda Mangum, in southern California and take her to meet my parents in Modesto. All did not go well. My parents, who did not want me to marry a Mormon girl (I was attending BYU at the time. I was never sure what they expected me to bring home.), gave Brenda the cold shoulder. During a now famous dinner, my Dad let go with every profanity he had at his disposal. Fortunately, he did not believe in using four letter profanities unless they were of the mild type beginning with "H" or "D." Dad, after all, had some scruples! However, numerous deities were invoked, some of which I'd never heard of even though I had taken a World Religions class the previous summer.

On our way back to BYU, Brenda expressed the opinion that she wasn't sure she could tolerate my parents as in-laws and that our relationship might come to an end. Things were up in the air for several days.

Finally, she visited my apartment one late afternoon. At the time, I was not feeling well, I was stretched out on the couch watching "Casablanca" on TV. We solemnly watched the movie together. I will insert here that Brenda bore an uncanny resemblance to Ingrid Bergman, a beauty who never looked better than in "Casablanca." As the movie came to its heartbreaking conclusion, we were both very quiet. Brenda turned to me with a smile and said that she was mine and I was hers. We were officially engaged within the month. I always felt though, that we were really engaged at the end of "Casablanca." Brenda and I were married in June, 1970.

Brenda and I have watched "Casablanca" many times and have always remembered the afternoon in my apartment. That was over 42 years ago. Three children, two wonderful children-in-law and eight grandchildren later, as the movie's theme song says, "A kiss is still a kiss, a sigh is still a sigh, the fundamental things apply as time goes by..."