Richard

My friend Richard just lost his wife after 61 years of marriage. Richard is a unique fellow because it seems he has broken just about every bone in his body at one time or another. He hobbles around has best he can. For the last 30 years or more, he has taken care of his wife, Colleen, who had severe diabetes. She should have had her foot amputated many, many years ago, but refused to let the doctors do it. I think she wanted to be a whole, complete person. She probably should have died many years ago also, but was determined to live. With total commitment, Richard helped her every day, wrapping her foot and taking care of other needs. They found joy in the small things and did the best they could to find happiness given their condition.

In the mean time, Richard did the best he could to offer service to others, even helping neighbors move. If someone needed something and Richard could do it, he was there. For a number of years, he called me on my birthday and sang "Happy Birthday." The quality wasn't operatic, but there was no doubt about the kindness and sincerity behind the message.

Richard and Colleen always seemed happy. Anyone who met them would be greeted with a smile and a firm handshake. The difficulties of their lives did not show in their countenance. They were always glad to see and be seen. The goal was to make the day better for any they encountered.

Those who have been married 1, 5, 10, 20 or even 40 years cannot understand the devotion and depth of love that comes after 60 years. Richard misses Colleen in a way most of the rest of us can't comprehend. But he has this belief that in the future they will be together forever. If anyone could be, it will be Richard and Coleen. And he won't have to bandage her foot.