The Thingy (a work of total fiction :)

As we were leaving the house this afternoon, I told my wife, "I need to fix the thingy by the door." She protested, "What (pause) 'thingy?'" I told her that I needed to fix the bump where she goes out the door so it is not hard on her back when she drives over it with her scooter (please remember she is not walking yet). She informed me that the use of the word "thingy" was not terribly descriptive. I told her if she had considered the context in which I spoke, she logically could have figured out what I meant and there would be no need for further explanation on my part. She gave me examples of several "contexts" I might have intended. She made sense. She's very bright. She always makes sense.

To interrupt the flow of this story, there are two types of successful marriages. The first is the complimentary type. In my experience, these are quite rare. A complimentary couple will say, "We see the world exactly the same way" or "We never disagree." These always seemed to be ideal, heavenly marriages. Think what it would be like to have a spouse say, "Let's eat out tonight," and the other say, "That's exactly what I was thinking!" The husband says, "We need a new yellow truck with a 583 hemi, dual quads, five wheel drive, compound axle, extra long bed, raised, McIntosh custom sound with a gun rack." She says, "That sounds great." She says "We need to remodel the kitchen and take out a 4th mortgage on the house," and he says, "It's about time." "While we're at it," she says, "Let's go to Bora-Bora for our 20th anniversary." He tells her he always wanted to go to Bora-Bora.

The second type of marriage is the non-complimentary, contrasting or typical marriage*. In this marriage, the couples vie for supremacy, respecting each other, but seeing the world very differently.

These marriages make the world go around. It is hard to imagine any growth in a complimentary marriage and they tend to carry a lot of debt. In the contrasting marriage, couples grow, learn to see another person's point of view and perfect the art of compromise. The contrasting marriage is harder, but pays more dividends.

Other types of marriages also exist: capitulation, nonaggression pacts, shuttle diplomacy, mutually assured destruction and nuclear war, to name just a few. For our purposes, it is not necessary to explore these.

Now, to finish the story, after some discussion, which approached a border skirmish, when my wife finally understood the context in which I was speaking, she said, "Oh, I thought you meant that little do-dad that keeps the door open."


*See "The War Between the Men and the Women" by James Thurber